Twenty questions

Apparently what I eat is very interesting. Not just what I eat, but why I eat it.

Hello, my name is Sally. I have been grain, dairy and sugar free for 8 months. I know how this sounds. Trust me. It’s like these foods are my drug, an addiction that I’ve kicked. Like anytime I’m eating near you, and you have grains, you are nervous that I might just fall off the wagon. Do you think I can’t be trusted to be left alone in the room with a plate full of cookies and a glass of milk? Why is it that what I am eating suddenly becomes topic of conversation? Like I’m some sort of freak. I have to say, I think some of this is my own fault.

When I decided to remove these foods from my diet, I got amazing results. I was excited and enthusiastic about that, so I proceeded to share my new found wisdom with anyone willing to listen. A few things happened. Some people were interested, convinced by my results and even decided to do their own experiment. Others listened politely, made their own silent judgments and moved on. Many got tired of listening to me go on and on and eventually just tuned me out completely. Then there were those who felt the need to challenge my lifestyle up against conventional wisdom, to them, I say “Thank you!”

Each situation I faced, called for a different reaction from me. The last, though, gave me the opportunity to solidify my own reasons- not just to them, but to myself.

Very early on I knew that this way of eating would become a permanent change for me. This is when I realized that I needed to be able to stand up to the “Why?” questions with a respectable answer. Anyone who has made changes in their lifestyle knows you are bound to be faced with what feels like a game of Twenty Questions and even feel forced to defend your choices. What is important is how we choose to react and answer those questions.

Let’s face it, once you start ditching the grains, asking for extra butter, ordering a huge slab of meat, and 3 sides of bacon, your plate comes under scrutiny. What you are eating suddenly becomes the topic of conversation with everyone at your table, even the waitress. That doesn’t even address what your local grocery store clerk must think of the 6 dozen eggs, 4 pounds of bacon and 12 cans of coconut milk you are buying each week. Needless to say – it turns some heads.

So, how do you deal with these situations when they arise? When your mom asks you why you no longer want to eat her famous spaghetti? Or you refuse cake at a co-workers retirement party? What do you tell your kids when they ask why they are learning that grains are healthy at school?

What I have found is that the answer isn’t black and white. There is no one size fits all. For some, like the waitress or the grocery clerk, the answer can be something as simple as “I’m allergic to gluten”. For others, like family and friends, who know you, a more in-depth answer is in order. But proceed with caution. My experience is that just because they are asking, doesn’t mean they really want to know ALL your reasons why. Something short and sweet like Addie talked about last week, “Food is my medicine” might just be enough for them. I suggest your start there and give more information as it is requested.

I have made the mistake along the way of making it my personal mission to enlighten all the people I care about; to save them from conventional wisdom and ultimately disease. What I learned; they have to want to save themselves first.

One particular blog that I enjoy is The Whole 9 where Melissa Urban wrote a great post, called “How to Win Friends and Influence Paleo” on the topic of dealing with questions from family and friends and what approaches work and which don’t. I’ve included a few of her ideas here:

• Lead by quiet example. Your results will speak for themselves… let your experience shine through, answer questions if asked but don’t waste your breath trying to convince, cajole or persuade others before they’re ready… be a living example of what this way of eating could potentially do for them.

• Pick your battles. Keep your lunch to yourself, and encourage others to do the same by not responding to blatant pokes, jabs or attacks on your “weird diet”. If someone is truly interested, have the conversation away from the crowd, when you can speak privately and not be interrupted by the haters.

• Educate yourself. Do your homework. Figure out the difference between Atkins and Paleo. Learn why certain foods are excluded. Understand how a diet high in good fats helps promote body fat loss. Prepare some remarks based on your own experience.

• When outnumbered, fall back. You may very well find yourself stuck in a battle that you just can’t win. It’s a family dinner, your parents, siblings and children are at the table and you’re being hammered with doubts, skepticism and outright criticism. Take a deep breath, smile and simply fall back. In the end, the only person whose health and wellness you are responsible for is YOU. And while it may pain you to see the unhealthy behaviors exhibited by your friends and family, ultimately, they are responsible for their own lives, and their own choices. So rather than spark a bitter feud or ruin a birthday party, swallow your ego, your pride and your frustration and simply say, “Well, this is actually kind of working for me right now, but I hear what you’re saying and I really appreciate your thoughts. Now let’s get back to enjoying this delicious meal!” Sometimes, that’s all you can do… and that’s okay. Refer back to point #1… if people are open to change, eventually THEY will come to YOU, and you’ll get that opportunity to help them.

I’m still a work in progress. I try to tame my enthusiasm when necessary and still allow myself to get swept away in excitement when I find someone who genuinely wants to hear what I have to say. But through all this, the many questions have done just what they were intended to do, challenge my reasons “Why”. By constantly being questioned, I have been forced to find my own answers. And that is just what I have done. If you’d like to know what they are, just ask…but consider yourself warned, I’m still working on curbing that enthusiasm.

Share some stories of your own.

Have there been times you’ve had to defend your food choices? Have your friends and family tip-toed around your “special diet”? How did that make you feel? What strategies have worked for you when explaining your choices? What didn’t work?

Weekly Recipe

Butternut Squash Soup

2 butternut squash, peeled, diced
Olive oil
8 slices bacon
2 T butter
2 leeks- only the whites, sliced
1 shallot diced
6 C chicken broth
Salt and pepper to taste
3 T fresh thyme, finely chopped
1 C Heavy cream
3 T fresh Chives
Crème Fraiche (or sour cream) for garnish

Preheat oven to 350. Toss diced squash with olive oil to coat, salt and pepper. Roast in oven until golden and fork tender, usually 20+ minutes. In large pot cook bacon until crispy, remove from pan, chop and reserve as topping. In the pan add butter to bacon fat and sauté leeks and shallots on LOW until tender, 10+ minutes. Once squash is cooked, add to leeks and shallots, add chicken broth and thyme. Cover and simmer on low until everything is soft and tender- slow and low. Once ready to serve, puree soup, add heavy cream, salt and pepper to taste. Top individual servings with a spoonful of crème fraiche, chives and chopped bacon.